The First Tooth

Our six-year-old lost his first tooth this week. He was eating a bowl of popcorn when it happened. Did I finish the popcorn? I did. We never did find the tooth, so either I ate it or my son did. At least, that’s our theory. We’re not taking the steps necessary to confirm that.

Since there was no tooth, our son drew a picture for the Tooth Fairy instead.

That drawing went into an envelope.

Despite that creepy pic and cryptic address, the Tooth Fairy found us and responded with a note and some cold hard cash.

My son was impressed. Then he asked me, “Dad, where did the Tooth Fairy come from? Who are her parents?”

So I told him this story: Millions of years ago, the first vaguely human creature emerged. It grew a tooth. When the tooth fell out, it landed in a primordial swamp filled with just the right ingredients, and the Tooth Fairy emerged. Ever since, she flies around collecting all the teeth that little kids use. Nobody knows what exactly she does with those teeth. Maybe makes necklaces.

He seemed satisfied. Until…

Bedtime last night. He looked at me and said, “How do we make one of those magic swamp things?”

So now I have to come up with a recipe for primordial swamp and keep my fingers crossed that it creates a magical creature, or else crush the hopes and dreams of my favorite first grader.

Dr. Spock never wrote any books about how to handle this kind of stuff.

Unleash Your Own Crankiness

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