Drawstrings: The Last String

I’m still cranky, I just haven’t had much time to write about it lately. Now that the summer is here, though, I’m finally able to vent my frustration (some of it–there’s a pretty big backlog). Hopefully I’ll get to all of my complaints, but for now I’ll just focus on the most pressing.

Today’s topic is drawstrings. Don’t get me wrong, as a person who loves to eat ice cream and chicken wings (sometimes simultaneously), I appreciate the flexibility of simply untying your pants. The problem is that these brilliant children’s designers think it’s a hoot to put purely ornamental drawstrings on everything. What the heck?

First of all, our son is slightly below the national average weight for kids his age. So a drawstring would be a great solution to fitting him into some of the nice 24 month outfits we have purchased or been gifted with. Instead, he keeps literally jumping out of his pants because come on, we’re not going to force him to wear suspenders and there are no belt loops on these clothes…because they have non-functional drawstrings.

Second of all, what am I supposed to do with this drawstring? Tie it in a bow? There’s not enough string! So when he’s not leaping free of his gabardine bonds, our son is tripping over the darn things. Once he actually used them to rappel down from his high chair when I wasn’t moving fast enough to get him out.

So this is my heartfelt plea to children’s clothiers: please, either make the drawstrings actually draw, or just leave them out and add some belt loops. Then I can be cranky about trying to find a belt that a) fits and b) matches clothes in a variety of neon green, orange, blue, and magenta tones. Because evidently that’s what kids love to wear, based on the selections available.

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