It’s been a while since I’ve posted about being cranky, because it’s been a while since something’s made me really cranky. Tonight, though…I’m cranky. Here’s why.
I always used to hate the stories that would start with, “When you’re a parent, then you’ll understand…”. I still hate those stories, but now I understand them. This story is one of those, so if you’re not a parent, you probably won’t care. And that’s ok.
Earlier tonight I was trying to affix a sheet to my son’s Pack ‘N Play mattress pad. The term “mattress” is used very loosely, since it’s just a piece of foldy cardboard. Fitted sheets are the devil’s own invention anyway, but add to that a mattress that collapses and what you have is a sort of inefficient slingshot. The first time, the sheet flew across the room. The next time, the mattress. The third time, I thought I had it, only to realize that one side was not completely folded under the mattress (a sure way to cause SIDS). Since I could feel the vein in my temple throbbing, I very carefully pulled the sheet under the side of the pad…at which point it flew off the other side, and the whole show started again.
30 minutes later, I had properly affixed the sheet to the mattress pad. Finally I could put my son safely in his Pack ‘N Play while I loaded the dishwasher, knowing that he wasn’t rolling around putting his fingers in electrical outlets (I did that once when I was a kid and I’m still not right). Of course, that was when little guy peed all over himself, which meant time to change the sheet again.