Runner’s Revenge

A year ago, my unborn son was just a floating blob of protoplasm. I leaned down next to my wife’s stomach and promised him that I would run a half marathon before he was six months old. Yesterday I lived up to that promise.

Ok, most of that didn’t actually happen–especially since I’ve run a half marathon every year since 2010. The same half marathon, actually–the Hershey half. It’s a nice run and the proceeds go to a good cause. Yesterday I had my personal best time–1:41:57. My son couldn’t have been happier…to chew on the piece of warming foil they gave me at the finish line.

I’m a competitive person, I’ll admit it. Now that the half marathon is over, I have to find something else to compete for. On Father’s Day, my wife and son gave me a book titled “World’s Greatest Dad.” Maybe my next venture can be training to defend that title.

What events would a World’s Greatest Dad competition have? It would have to involve physical strength, speed, stamina, and strategy. Here are a few ideas:

  • Diaper changing: graded for speed and accuracy
  • Baby toss: based on height, safety of catch and amount of fun for the child
  • Peek-a-boo: who sees you?
  • Patty cake: bonus points for most creative lyric modifications
  • Belly raspberries: graded for quality and length of uninterrupted sound
  • Bathing: cleanliness, speed and water loss would all be factored into scoring
  • Bottle feeding: score includes hold, grip and accuracy

What else would you add?


One comment

  1. Because you are the greatest Dad it would follow that you would be a great husband to the mother of your child. SO….you could also add,do the dishes ,cook and serve her meals, fold and put away the laundry, and anticipate her needs before she has to ask you to do things.

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