Things That Make Me Cranky, Part 1

Being the parent of a newborn can be challenging. There are the unexplainable tantrums, the hunger pangs leading to jag crying, the lingering smell of spit up/poop/snot/wet wipes. Add to this all the issues the kid has, too, and you can imagine it’s not always gumdrops and roses.

This might be why lately little things are making me crankier than they should. The sleep deprivation may be exaggerating their effect on me, or maybe it’s just that I’d rather spend my time with my son and wife than dealing with every day issues. Whatever the reason, this is my first (but I’m sure not my last) post about minor issues that are making me disproportionately cranky.

1. First up is deodorant. When you have a newborn, showering schedules are limited, so sometimes a PTA with a wet wipe and a new application of deo has to be enough. Which is why the folks at Gillette are really making me cranky. You can see from the picture there is still plenty of gel in the container, but the apparatus that pushes it to the top doesn’t work. In fact, for the past month or so I’ve had to shake it to get the actual stuff to come out through the holes in the top–resulting in a weird deodorant spray pattern around our bedroom that looks like a scene from Law & Order. I found out yesterday that even that technique isn’t working any more, so guess who’s wearing his wife’s Secret deodorant and smelling like a buffalo who’s been rolling around in dead roses? Yep, that would be me.

2. Of course I adore my wife, but even those you love can sometimes make you cranky. My wife complains that I leave crumbs on the counter. Guilty as charged. (And I am a hairy guy, so sometimes those “crumbs” include a few gnarly arm hairs. Gross, I agree, but what am I going to do? Spend three hours shaving my body every day?)

Anyway, my wife is quick to point out when I’ve left a trail of graham cracker crumbs across the floor, but she is blind to her own kitchen cleanliness issue: not throwing away paper towels/napkins. She seems to think she might reuse them–but of course she never does, so we just wind up with a kitchen full of used paper ware. Sometimes I get in trouble because they are on the floor to mark the final resting place of a bug or spider that I’m supposed to clean up. The question is, how do I know when they are serving a purpose, versus when they’re just the usual remnants of her inability to throw anything, no matter how useless, away?

In case you think I’m exaggerating, I’ve included two pictures I snapped just this morning.

3. I hate doing yard work. I love exercising outdoors, except when the exercise in question is mowing the lawn or trimming the shrubs. However, back in April I knew our little guy was on his way, so I forced myself to trim our shrubs within an inch of their lives. We have a lot of shrubs, too.

So, what did that preemptive strike get me? This:

I have rogue shrubs growing out of my shrubs. So now I not only have to endure this non-global warming-related heat, I also have to sacrifice time I could otherwise spend with my son…doing something I hate to do. Seriously, if you live in central PA and want some shrubs, they’re yours for the taking. Just make sure you take those extra weed shrubs too.

So that’s my list…for now. I’ve got to go out to the kitchen and get some used paper towels. I can use them to mop up when I head out to trim shrubs by the sweat of my brow. Oh, and I’m out of deodorant, so if you see me tomorrow, you may want to steer clear.


  1. Um, sometimes I DO reuse those paper towels!

  2. […] while ago, I posted some specific things that make me cranky, including the jungle we call our backyard. Well, with the first day back to school (at least at […]

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