Baby Wipes and More Gender Stereotypes

This is a two-part rant because a) I’m really cranky and b) neither rant is long enough for a full post.

First rant: the military-industrial complex’s conspiracy to rob consumers. Yes, I’m talking about baby wipes here. If somebody can invent wireless electricity, is there a reason that none of the companies out there can make a pack of baby wipes that dispenses one wipe at a time? The only reason I can think of is the almighty dollar. Those companies know they have parents in a precarious position. Halfway through a diaper change, you don’t have many options in terms of carefully detaching a single wipe. If a sheet of the suckers come out, you’re going to use them. And the more wipes you use, the more you buy. We have tried a variety of wipes, including Pampers, Huggies, Parent’s Choice, and even some that are a little rougher. I’m almost to the point of doing away with wipes altogether and just using a squeegee and some Windex.

Second rant: today there was a community street fair in our little town. (On a side note, they set up a stage right in front of our house where local singers were doing off-key renditions of popular singers like Adele and Ratt. They’re lucky Wolfe already had us up or I might have given them a one moon salute out the window.) As my wife, my son and I made our way down the street, I saw that a community organization had a booth set up. It was “Mommy and Me,” designed to help new mothers connect with other new mothers and share parenting advice, moral support and religious knick-knacks. I tried to sign up and they jokingly said I would need to wear a skirt to the meetings and shave my legs. Now, I’m a pretty sanguine guy, but I was livid. It took three overpriced iced lemonades to calm me down. And I don’t care what they say, I will join the “Mommy and Me” swim classes at the local pool. Wolfe and I are going to show up in our matching speedos, and they will teach us both to swim, whether they like it or not. If they don’t, I guess they’ll just have to deal with my hairy bloated carcass polluting their exclusive little club. Dads are people too!

Now I’m off to drink another iced lemonade.

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6 comments

  1. I think the community at large would join them in wanting to see you shave at least your legs.

  2. Ok, Matt, get your self over to a store that sells the white cloud refill wipes. They are the best and they come in the zigzag fold for dispensing ONE at a time. They cost about 1.50 for 80 count, if i remember right. It was the only kind I bought!!

    1. Hey, thanks! I will look for those.

  3. […] experience to address a more general issue: gender bias and stereotypes. (I know, I already posted something related to this. I’m posting something else about it […]

  4. Word on the wipes.
    It’s kind of a combo platter though… because the dispenser is also key. Sometimes the dispenser’s “tissue hole” (or whatever you want to call it) breaks the wipes too well and doesn’t end up holding one in the appropriate ready-for-action posture. This then causes a one-handed-mambo in which you need to fish out a wipe through the opening while making sure the kiddo doesn’t squirm into the diaper doo.
    – Justin

    1. I’ve pulled out bits and pieces of wipes to no end because of the stupid dispenser!

      (Natalie)

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