A month in, and I can honestly say I love being a dad. Wolfe is a great kid (although I might be biased) and my wife Natalie is a great mom (again, probably biased). At the same time, I’ve learned a few things that I’d like to share for anyone else who is about to be a parent. These are the things they conveniently leave out of every parenting advice book out there.
1. A baby can sleep through an LMFAO concert during the day, but if you step on a creaky floorboard at night he’s instantly awake and screaming.
2. A baby will only pee/poop/puke on you if you have just taken a shower or put on clean clothes.
3. Babies know when you’re ready to eat or go to the bathroom. And that’s when they strike.
4. You can survive on nothing but two hour naps. Seriously. You might find that you put the mail in the freezer, the peanut butter in the mailbox, and your socks in the pantry–but you can survive.
5. Trying to trim your newborn’s fingernails right after feeding him his first Starbucks latte–probably not a good idea. On either count.
6, However many diapers you think you’ll need per day, triple it. And that’s just for the morning. (And doesn’t count the ones for you, per item #3.)